Clare Grogan, Tommy Cooper & Peter Sellers

The streets of London may not be paved with gold but the floor of my bedsit most definitely is. I put eight empties in the bin, swap the pint of milk for a can from the fridge and bite into the pie.

It steams and scolds the roof of my mouth. The dryness is nice.

Really nice. The beer is so cold it hurts and then I am at ease. My hands stop shaking. I relax. Even think of Ranvir. And then think of Jenny and then Claudette. I am at one with, if not the world, then myself.

I must have dozed off as it is now gone twelve. Joe knocks the door. The phone is for me. It's Gal and we are now going around Islington this evening. Seeing Az after the Arsenal. Few beers, chew the fat, talk about football and training shoes. Girls and grog.

Politics and pettiness. Clare Grogan and The Raincoats. Post-punk princesses. Radical haircuts and Margaret Hilda Fucking Thatcher.

Margaret Hilda Fucking Thatcher. We hate that woman. She is the devil incarnate, the Highgate Vampire arisen, the evil woman!

I shower, slip on a Lacoste polo, a pair of jumbo cords, my Borg Elite and a leather and lock the door. Joe is still vacuuming the stairs. He is so fucking cheerful - the old queen. I walk to the bus stop and jump the 134 into town.

Past the woods and by The Woodman pub. I saw Tommy Cooper in there during the week. He was wasted. Absolutely fucking wasted.

Couldn't stand up. Couldn't speak. His missus was just the same.

Irishmen saying "Just Like That" and laughing. I kept my head in my Guinness and Guardian.

Down Archway Road under Suicide Bridge. I think about suicide. I think about suicide a lot. Then again I think about football and fucking a lot. But I always think about suicide when I go under the bridge. Peter Sellers once saved somebody's life on Suicide Bridge. And when I've stopped thinking about Peter Sellers and Tommy Cooper we are at the Archway Tavern and I'm thinking about Ray Davies and all the other Muswell Hillbillies. Me, and all the other Muswell Hillbillies deep in thought on the 134 bus.

I get off at Camden and look at Japanese tourists in the market. Tat and tourists. Student girls and art school arrivistes. Punk rockers and geezers. I walk to and through Regent's Park. It's fucking beautiful. My head is clear. Black boys in gold belchers and Gabicci check my shoes. I swagger that northern swagger that these cockney boys don't understand. I reckon I'll be on my toes in a minute but thankfully they are more interested in putting their hands up their girls' sweaters.