Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads

Well if they are playing Fog on the Tyne on Talksport this morning it can only mean one of two things. Unless Gazza is back at The Priory then I think it is safe to say that King Kev, the Special K, The Messiah has returned to St James' Park.

I have quite simply never seen (or heard) anything quite like it. Dads with their fat-cherub-faced lads giving it the "Keegan Wonderland" for the benefit of the cameras. In what must be the greatest second coming since Jesus fancied a Cadbury's cream egg one Easter, Keegan has returned and the Geordie Nation has gone apeshit.

I don't think it is any secret but if Geordies didn't exist then you'd have to invent them! Throw in the world of SKY/Setanta/606/Talksport and you have a right royal circus. And enter the circus master supreme - a man called KEVIN.

Excuse me but what did he actually win at Newcastle? Sure, they scored lots of goals and they did indeed entertain but his win record was 55% and NO trophies.

His last managerial position was with Manchester City where he managed a 44% record and NO trophies. It is also safe to say he was indeed "England's worst-ever manager" with a 39% win record and NO trophies.

But, hey he's back and the Geordie Bootboys - the world's most loyal fans - are going to embrace him like there is no tomorrow! Don't get me wrong Newcastle is a great place and when you go up there you truly appreciate what a football town it is and they surely deserve some success but will they get it?

Football's changed since he was last there. He will do well to attract a Ginola or get lucky with an Asprilla. He'll probably start by bringing in Chris Coleman who - completely out of his depth -resigned as Real Sociedad boss yesterday. And of course Terry Mac will keep his job. Will Shearer be co-opted onboard. Who knows?

Last night amongst the handshakes, smackers on the lips and autograph signing, Keegan looked pale and ill. Adrfit from it all. Lost in the flashbulbs.

He may be "back home" but will it bring success. People are saying that Newcastle will be everybody's second favourite team again, which is of course be absolute bollocks. For every Giles from Cheltenham calling up radio stations there will be a Baz from Manchester that will hope he falls flat on his face.

Meanwhile it is just another twist in the Premiersoap. The Lovejoys of this world will love it. Thousands will whack school for tomorrow's press conference and Bolton will get stuffed on Saturday.

But where will it all end? It may just end in a host of trophies yet then again it may end in one of the murky north eastern lay-bys.

Whatever happens this story will undoubtedly run and run...

Now how did that theme song go

"Oh, what happened to you?
Whatever happened to me?
What became of the people we used to be?
Tomorrow's almost over,Today went by so fast,The only thing to look forward to is the past?"